Love and Polyamory

Love and Polyamory

Polyamory, in its literal sense, means multiple loves – being romantically involved with several people simultaneously. To be poly-amorous is to be open to the idea of loving several people, of having multiple romantic relationships simultaneously. Note that being poly-amorous just means that you are open to the idea of loving more than one person; someone who has a single partner may still be poly-amorous.

Unlike a monogamous relationship, which is limited to a single partner by definition, polyamory comes in a variety of forms, and may evolve over time depending on the individuals involved. Having polyamory involves not just challenging monogamous ideals, it also involves exploring what you are expecting of your romantic love partners. A kind of ethical non-monogamy, polyamory involves having romantic relationships with more than one person.

Polyamory has become a catch-all term to encompass different forms of non-monogamy, poly-fidelity, or sexual or romantic relationships that are not exclusive. Polyamory comes in a variety of shapes and forms, ranging from open relationships (where, to put it plainly, you are cheating on your partner, but they are aware of it and are okay with it, and are doing it to you), to single polyamory, in which you self-identify as poly-amorous, but are currently not involved in any more relationships. While many poly-amorous relationships are characterized by one partner who is openly and con-sensually engaging in separate or collaborative relationships outside their main relationship, others practice polyamory by having multiple separate, separate relationships, or even relationships involving three or more individuals. While the solo poly-amorous individual may not marry or jointly parent with their romantic partner, they nonetheless form highly committed relationships.

In contrast, poly-amorous individuals frequently – though not always – start seeing various people with the intention of having meaningful romantic relationships with them. Finally, some people become poly-amorous because they are interested in pursuing romantic relationships that do not involve sexuality. This is because a desire to be poly-amorous is not necessarily just a desire for more lovers; the desire for polyamory is usually about wanting to have the freedom to explore loving relationships with more than one person. That is, sometimes people think that they want polyamory, when in fact, what is happening is that they are unhappy in their current relationships, and are looking for somewhere else where they can satisfy their needs.

Success in a poly-amorous relationship is defined by the individuals within the relationship, and not necessarily the outside culture. Just like Greeks had several different words for love, people who are poly-amorous might find they have different types of relationships with different individuals. Separate from polyamory as the philosophical framework of relationships is the practical ways that poly-amorous people structure their lives and deal with particular issues, compared with people who have a more traditional, monogamous arrangement. Poly-amorous relationships – like monogamous relationships – can be healthy and satisfying, depending on the circumstances and behaviors of the individuals involved. The breakdown means that more people are acknowledging that some of us may like more than one person at once, and that poly-amorous relationships in their myriad varieties are as valid as monogamous ones.

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