In closing remarks, we argued that now, the data on behaviors, neurochemicals, and neuroimaging are overwhelmingly supportive of the proposition that loving is (or at least that it could be) addictive, much as one might call the behavior of a long-term addict addicted to drugs. In many ways, love and the love addiction may seem much like the forces driving a substance use disorder.
As a result, individuals struggling with love addiction may end up in unstable relationships, like toxic or abusive relationships. Often, feelings of this type lead a love addict to seek out toxic situations, only to experience highs of re-connecting with past partners. Similarly, those seeking a high (dopamine) in love, or those with an addictive personality, may find it a motivating factor to need relationships and love all the time.
If an addicted lover cannot keep their loved ones attention or affection, they may feel anxious or even depressed when their relationships start to break down. People may start taking this personally, and understandably, they are hurting greatly by the idea that an addict is the one who cares about nothing other than drugs or alcohol, yet an addicts brain is pushing him or her toward placing that substance high on the list of priorities. No matter what an addict says or promises, he is driven by his own urge to keep using, and there is not a lot that you can do to change this.
You are going to need to keep in mind that addiction is a chronic condition, even when the addict has not used for months, if not years. They will always have the possibility to relapse into substance abuse, and will need plenty of help avoiding this possibility. If the addicted person has decided to enter treatment, it is a good indication they are well on their way to living free from their substance abuse. If the addict has refused treatment, then the next most helpful thing you can do is to let them be and let them figure things out for themselves.
If this is not an option, it is crucial that you guard against the damage that could result from being involved with the addicted person. Being in a relationship with an addict can be grueling over a long period of time, and it causes serious health problems, particularly if no steps are taken to treat addiction. From mistrust and abusive behaviors, to health complications and mental illness, addiction can severely harm relationships. No matter what the nature of the relationship, drug abusers will pull away, grow cold, be manipulative, and they will often be emotionally and sometimes physically abusive.
While romantic love and addiction are similar at their earliest stages, they are different at later stages, because addictive characteristics in love slowly fade away as a romantic relationship goes on. As described earlier, comparing romantic love with drug addiction progress indicates some similarities between romantic love in early stages and drug addiction, with romantic love considered as behavioral dependence, whereas later stages have a number of important differences between romantic love and drug addiction, with romantic love ultimately developing as a prosocial behavior. The differences in the functional changes in the social cognition systems and related cognitive control brain regions could be a neural basis for differences between later stage romantic love and drug addiction. At the very least, however, the data that we discuss in this paper indicate that, at one level, drug addiction, on one hand, and at least some of the experiences or behaviors associated with romantic love, on the other, could plausibly be understood as equivalent phenomena at the level of the brain, backed up by the same neurophysiological processes.
