While some have voiced concerns about the eight-year age difference, in essence, this comes down to the fact that they are both consenting adults, and they consider each other equal. While some may object to a relationship with an age gap on camera, in the long term, if both partners are consenting adults who see themselves as equals, that could be a recipe for success in a relationship. The reality is that although age gaps can present certain challenges to couples, so long as couples are working at their relationships, age does not have to be an obstacle. Having a partner that is several years older than you is considered normal, but when the age gap is too large, then it can seem unconventional.
There are even cases when the age difference is over 15-20 years, or when a female partner is older than the male. In Western countries, about 8 percent of female-to-male couples have a gap in age of 10 years or more, rising to 25 percent of male-to-male partnerships and 15 percent of female-to-female relationships. In European and Asian countries, older male partners are preferred, with an age gap typically of about two or three years. One study suggests that both men and women prefer an approximately three-year age gap, where a man is older than the woman.
It further suggests that older men are willing to entertain relationships with a woman who is much younger than they are, whereas women’s most acceptable age gap is 10 years older. The evolutionary explanation is limited because it does not explain why the opposite occurs (an older female-younger male couple) or why there are age gaps in same-sex couples. A 2014 Facebook study found that partners in same-sex relationships had larger age gaps than their heterosexual counterparts. One Canadian data set found 18% of women in same-sex relationships had age gaps of 10 years or greater, compared to only 8% of those in mixed-sex relationships.
Across Western countries, approximately 8% of all married heterosexual couples could be classified as having a significant age gap (ten years or more). Although in 2014, the median age gap in U.S. heterosexual relationships was relatively small at 2.3 years, many couples had a much larger gap. For some, the gaps are even larger: Data suggests about 1 percent of US heterosexual couples have an age gap of 28 years or greater. A seminal 2005 study analyzed a century of English and Welsh marital data and found the average age gap, ranging from two to three years, has changed little over this period, and importantly, there is no evidence that societal customs influence the prevalence of age-gap relationships.
According to the Sexologist Janet Morrison, PhD, who studies such relationships, age-gap relationships are defined as an age difference of 10 years or more between the parties involved. The age gap is usually significant not for a particular number of years, but for how age gaps are compared between two lovers. That is, if individuals within an age-gap couple feel disapproval from family, friends, and their larger community about the union, commitment in the relationship declines, and risk for separation increases.
Many couples who participate in the age-gap dynamic point to outside judgments, not conflicts arising inside a partnership, as more destructive to their relationships (something I can attest to based on my own experiences). Ultimately, experts and couples alike have come to similar conclusions, namely that healthy age-gap relationships need the same components of any other healthy partnership: love, respect, communication, trust, and shared goals. When it comes to their own relationships, men and women alike tend to prefer people who are the same age but are open to people 10-15 years younger or older.
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