While anyone who ends a relationship that he or she has enjoyed and treasured will feel hurt and heartbroken, men and women can respond to the breakup in different ways. While men and women are emotionally devastated by breakups, other than separation, they are losing their sense of self-worth and a powerful bond. Among all of these differences, the point is that men and women are dealing with similar emotions while going through breakups. Well, the reasons behind that are related to the social roles relationships play, and the ways that these play into our self-esteem, and also to fundamental ways in which men and women handle the same emotions in different ways.
Men are not any less emotionally capable than women, but just not the way women handle emotions. One of the biggest things to keep in mind (and one I really struggle with recollection) is that men are not any less emotional than women, but oftentimes are not equipped as well to deal with feelings as women. I think that a big part of that is that men feel like they are not allowed to express emotions at all, and do not have as much social support. Because a lot of men have never learned to deal with emotions appropriately, they are unsure of what to do when emotions arise out of nowhere.
In Australia, women are socially accepted to be overtly emotional around people, which means that they are better at dealing with negative emotions such as sadness and regrets faster than men. Traditionally, society has encouraged women to speak about their relationships with each other, whereas men are usually encouraged to be more masculine. Men seek ways to hide and mask their feelings, whereas women speak of their feelings to people in their lives in order to make sense of what has happened. This means men delay working through what happened, and the result is that their feelings come back to haunt them over in subsequent relationships.
The answer is Men are more likely to get into another relationship faster, making it seem as though they are getting over a breakup. Another reason women are not hurting as much as men are after breakups is because women go through the breakup process longer than men. Generally, men have more of an urge to return to their partners after the breakup compared to women. Men generally have a greater idea of getting back with an ex boyfriend than women, because studies show men are never fully healed after breakups.
How to Get Over a Breakup for Men and Women
A study in 2011 found that the most effective way for men and women to move on from relationships is by dating someone new. According to the research, one of the most effective ways for both sexes to get over a breakup is to date someone new. While there is no certain way of knowing how each individual man will bounce back from any given relationship, there are certain repeating tactics that men employ in order to cut the cord with an ex. Turns out, as with almost anything in relationships, breaking up is actually harder on men.
I was surprised to discover that not only did everybody I talked to agree that men and women deal with breakups in different ways, but also that, more often than not (at least in straight relationships), men find it harder to handle it. I studied exactly that, and came away with several reasons why breakups can initially hurt women more, but are actually harder on men over the long haul. While this evidence of mens potential for heartbreak might appear to defy conventional stereotypes about relationships, the idea that men experience breakups more harshly than women is actually not all that surprising, and it could likely be chalked up to these same stereotypes. Despite lingering stereotypes about men being less emotionally invested in relationships than women, researchers found that in reality, it is men who experience the greatest emotional shock when they are broken up.
The grief of a romantic breakup can strike women harder initially, but they recover much faster from their losses than men, new research suggests. Conventional wisdom holds that, whereas men might struggle to accept the hurt, disappointment, hopelessness, and guilt associated with a breakup, women accept grief much easier – and turn over a new leaf. When things get ugly, and a breakup happens, men and women experience grief for different reasons. Men have trouble processing a breakup because they avoid it, whereas women are able to sit with their emotions and get over it quicker.
It all comes down to women being more aware of their feelings, and being able to work through it faster, in a healthier way, than the men experiencing the breakup. Feelings do not mean men are over their breakup, but it might be the only way they know how to heal from one. Feelings are still around, and will last only as long as they are pushed aside, so it can seem as though men are having delayed reactions to a breakup.
While gender stereotypes typically portray women as being the more emotionally attached partners in relationships, and therefore more upset about the dissolution, recent studies show that men might actually be the ones stuck sobbing over a pint of ice cream after the breakup. Josh Klapow, radio personality and clinical psychologist at the University of Alabama, believes that lack of emotional development hinders relationships in other ways, including keeping men from connecting or being vulnerable to their partners at a deeper level. Another relationship expert quoted by Psychology Today, Dr. Scott Carol, says men tend to take on the “fake it till you make it” attitude, meaning suppressing these feelings of grief and essentially doing anything else they can to distract themselves from grief.
