Ordinary, day-to-day romantic relationships are complicated enough, but dating inside a workplace has become the most dangerous. I once went on a date with a coworker, and while that worked out well for us, office romantics can be an extremely difficult thing to navigate. If you are impetuous, or if you struggle with working out your interpersonal issues, dating coworkers may be something to steer clear of. When it comes to dating coworkers, your best strategy is to make as many times as possible their friends.
Whatever you do, try to not give someone the excuse to think or say you are being lazy on your job because of your relationship. You may want to take a proactive approach in order to avoid the embarrassment that comes from gossip or rumors related to dating your coworker. It is completely unprofessional to be complaining at work about your personal relationships, regardless of whether or not you are dating a colleague. Some people might dislike you as a couple and shy away from working with you or your partner, while others might feel that romantic relationships in the office are not appropriate regardless.
That said, plenty of happy couples begin with office romances, so it is unfair to say having an office crush must be avoided at all costs. Common sense says you should avoid office romances, as they can reflect badly on you both, and you know that if things do not work out, things are going to be awkward. Being clear about your expectations of one another and having a healthy conversation before dating your colleague may be the best thing you do for an aspiring office romance. Many companies have explicit policies about workplace dating and romantic relationships, and many of those policies explicitly prohibit employees from romantically engaging with one another.
Many companies have official rules on meeting people in the real world within the work environment, and HR policies are generally getting more stringent as a result of #MeToo. Changed attitudes between workers and employers, and the #MeToo movement, has discouraged some from engaging in romantic relationships in the workplace, due to concerns over legal pitfalls that could jeopardize ones employment. Even during the global pandemic, workers found ways to continue dating coworkers – a fact that highlights the inevitability of office romances. The workplace is a hotbed for romance, and it is tempting, though many companies frown upon co-worker dating, viewing it as a HR nightmare.
Many people meet their partners at work, yet dating in an office setting is generally frowned upon. Even at workplaces where dating people with whom you are co-workers is forbidden, the thought of doing so discreetly turns on a few or gets some adrenaline flowing. In other words, having a short flirtation with someone you work with after the holiday office party is probably not worth the potential awkwardness it might bring on later.
After all, it is likely easier to meet people who share your goals and life interests while working rather than when you are scrolling through a dating app, says Stacy Notaras Murphy, a relationship therapist in Washington, D.C., who happened to meet her husband when they were both working at the same office more than 20 years ago. I felt strange, weirder, worse for falling, but my mother, who worked for 35 years in human resources (HR), assured me dating a coworker was a common experience, since so many meet a significant other in an office.
One of the coworkers had been dating for nearly four years before we started working together (which, incidentally, was not planned…long story for another time). Angela did not want to make a big deal about it at work, so she and her coworker kept their office romance a secret, but after she found out that he was dating someone else, remotely, the relationship soured. Angela, who worked customer service at a subscription-based company when her office romance happened, said her experiences with her office romantic partnership made Angela reluctant to recommend him to others.
